Hey, sometimes the truth hurts, man. I realized that I’ve been biting my tongue for too long. Worried about how someone else would take it or if he could take it. Through trial and error, I learned he doesn’t usually take what I have to say too well.
The same one that insisted that I call him out on his bullshit. That was going to happen regardless. But when you inisist..oh yeah, believe I’ll do just that.
I expect to be called out too. I want to be corrected if I’m wrong. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Anyway, when you care about someone, deeply, it can be difficult at times to express yourself and be open. What can make it difficult is if he has a hard time being receptive to whatever it is you have to say, good or bad.
I had to catch myself. I ended up keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself. Important things. Things that would probably be uncomfortable for him to hear but I did it to “protect” myself and him. For the sake of some peace.
I caught myself changing into some weak, voiceless, resentful little girl and that’s soooo the opposite of who I am.
Now that I’m aware of that, I’m slowly gaining the pieces of myself that I sacrificed for him. I thought I was the problem because I was too opinionated etc.
But why should he get to express himself freely without the bullshit and not me? Sometimes, the truth isn’t what you want to hear but at least there’d be no confusion.
I can’t allow a man or anyone else to change me, intentionally or not. And I’m to blame also, trying to please folks. Even when I’m quiet it was still a problem at times so…
Feels good being myself again. Love me for me because Lord knows I put up with a whole lot of your bull..
It’s always love though.